I Don't Remember How to Take A Vacation
It’s Wednesday and I’ve landed in beautiful Chicago for a 4 day vacation and music festival. Even though I set my email away responder, I’ve still checked my email 8 times and scheduled a work call for this afternoon. It’s completely habitual, I don’t even realize I’m doing it.
After the call, I scanned through my mental to-dos… now what?
Now nothing, I’m on vacation.
I’ve been building my business for 2.5 years now and have only taken 6 days completely off during that time. As a business owner, and the sole producer for my company, taking time off has always felt subtly irresponsible.
I haven’t made it yet. I’m not financially secure yet. I don’t know where my next dollar is coming from yet. No one knows who I am yet. I haven’t paid off my debt yet.
All of these things pile on top of each other, forming a wall between me and a break.
Anger and frustration are the yellow flags that indicate that I’m in need of rest.
Resentment is the red flag that indicates that I’m completely burnt out.
Last week, I felt a WHOLE LOTTA resentment.
You know it’s bad when you start to resent your Mom for sending too many pictures of the sunsets in Wyoming. Doesn’t she know I don’t have TIME for these????
I don’t have time for the sunset. Yeesh.
Anyway, I’m sitting on a couch in a lovely apartment in Chicago writing this and wondering how I’m going to manage 80ish hours of non-work.
What do people do when they’re not stressing about a project or worrying about money or hustling to get stuff done or strategizing endlessly about marketing and communication?
I honestly have no idea.
I’m going to give it a go, get off this damn screen, and see for myself.
I’ll let you know what I find :)